Tumblr, buddy, listen to me. This is an unprecedented opportunity. You can snap up all of the pie here, and become defacto internet goodguy easy. All you gotta do is… drop the nsfw ban. Unambiguously. Announce that dicks are back on the menu. You want people subscribed the blogs? You want people to actually use your Post+ function? Porn. Let us use it for porn. The youngins aren’t joining this site anyway, you’re not competing with tiktok. The vaguely horny 20-40 demographic though? You can have that. You can have all of that. Think about it.
Do you know how many pinup artists alone are itching to come back to tumblr, but dont because of the unclear, seemingly arbitrary application of your nsfw policy? These are insanely talented people who are practically begging to give you content. For free. But you gotta change the policy. We can’t keep dancing around this. Just think of publicity. The drama. A complete 180. You’d kill it tumblr. You could make it happen. Please.
one time i went up to my friend (also my coworker) and gave him hug from behind and just like held him there for a moment and our one regular client walked in and was like “huh….so are you guys like….winnie the pooh and piglet?” and i lost my fucking mind. what does that mean. i also said yes and that i was pooh.
me and this coworker are now dating and the same client client came into today and was like “sooo winnie the pooh and piglet?” again so we asked him what he meant and apparently those were the only two male fictional characters he could think of that hug
“Lolita isn’t a perverse young girl. She’s a poor child who has been debauched and whose senses never stir under the caresses of the foul Humbert Humbert, whom she asks once, ‘how long did [he] think we were going to live in stuffy cabins, doing filthy things together…?’ But to reply to your question: no, its success doesn’t annoy me, I am not like Conan Doyle, who out of snobbery or simple stupidity preferred to be known as the author of “The Great Boer War,” which he thought superior to his Sherlock Holmes. It is equally interesting to dwell, as journalists say, on the problem of the inept degradation that the character of the nymphet Lolita, whom I invented in 1955, has undergone in the mind of the broad public. Not only has the perversity of this poor child been grotesquely exaggerated, but her physical appearance, her age, everything has been transformed by the illustrations in foreign publications. Girls of eighteen or more, sidewalk kittens, cheap models, or simple long-legged criminals, are baptized “nymphets” or “Lolitas” in news stories in magazines in Italy, France, Germany, etc; and the covers of translations, Turkish or Arab, reach the height of ineptitude when they feature a young woman with opulent contours and a blonde mane imagined by boobies who have never read my book. In reality Lolita is a little girl of twelve, whereas Humbert Humbert is a mature man, and it’s the abyss between his age and that of the little girl that produces the vacuum, the vertigo, the seduction of mortal danger. Secondly, it’s the imagination of the sad satyr that makes a magic creature of this little American schoolgirl, as banal and normal in her way as the poet manqué Humbert is in his. Outside the maniacal gaze of Humbert there is no nymphet. Lolita the nymphet exists only through the obsession that destroys Humbert. Herein an essential aspect of a unique book that has been betrayed by a factitious popularity.”
— Vladimir Nabokov (tr. Brian Boyd), Apostrophes (1975)
Véra Nabokov, Vladimir Nabokov’s editor and wife (among so many other things), mentioned in interviews with her biographer that he threw the Lolita manuscript into a fire several times (she pulled it out). Vladimir Nabokov spoke openly about his fear that the industry and an idiot public would pervert his book into a saucy sex fantasy instead of a study on predatory patriarchal horror. I hate how right he was.
Once the birds had learned how to initiate video interactions, the second phase of the experiment could begin. In this “open call” period, the 15 participating birds could make calls freely; they also got to choose which bird to dial up. Over the next two months, pet parrots made 147 deliberate video calls to other birds. Their owners took detailed notes about the calls and recorded more than 1,000 hours of video footage that the researchers analyzed.
[ id: screenshot from the linked article: “Two weak, older macaws, for example, became very close and even called out to one another "Hi! Come here! Hello!” from their respective screens" followed by a fucked up crying emoji man. /end id ]
Summary: After hooking up with your best friend Eddie, you’ve continued to explore what he taught you. He asks you to tell him about it during a late-night phone call.
Warning: NSFW, 18+ ONLY, phone sex, dirty dirty talk, some angsty feelings but it’s light, masturbation (male and female), friends to lovers continuation, drug use and discussion of drugs
“You’re in trouble now, pretty girl.”
Your head snaps up at Eddie’s words. So do the heads of the rest of the members of Hellfire, your shared friends. The friends who also have never heard Eddie call you ‘pretty girl’ in public. The friends who don’t know that you spent last Saturday night with their dungeon master between your thighs.
“Is that you speaking, Eddie? Or Argon the Terrible? Either way, someone’s getting a slap in the face.” You give him a pointed look over his DM shield. His smirk widens.
You both know he hadn’t been speaking as an NPC. He was goading you directly. And in front of everyone. Something you two had agreed not to do. If you were closer to him you would have kicked him under the table. Instead you just glare.
“It’s a little bit of both,” he dares to say with a shrug. Then he throws a menacing hand up. “But Argon the Terrible does think your skin will make a beautiful pelt. So what say you? Fight or flee?”
Warnings: NSFW, drug use, fingering, dirty talk, self-doubt and a lil teenage awkwardness (both are 18 though), PIV sex
~*~
“You ever touch yourself?”
“Excuse the fuck out of me?” Your response comes out as an incredulous chuckle.
You’re sitting on the bed of your best friend Eddie Munson, hand frozen outstretched to take the blunt he was offering you. You look down at the girly magazine in your lap, the one you had just been lazily criticizing him about. A centerfold gazes back up at you teasingly, her abnormally round breasts jutting out without shame as her back arches up from a tacky cheetah skin rug.
“Touch yourself. Do you?” Eddie waves the smoking blunt in your face till you pluck it from his hand. You busy yourself taking a long drag - longer than usual - to buy yourself time. As you hold the smoke in your lungs, Eddie’s eyebrows shoot up. “Easy there, tiger.”
You exhale harshly with a cough, immediately feeling your head begin to rush.
i learned that in India, there is a species of giant squirrel that have multicoloured fur, with with varying shades of orange, maroon and purple. Their bodies measure 36in from head to tail – double the size of their grey relatives – and they can leap 20ft between trees (x)
Some more pictures of these funky dudes cause they’re so pretty
Oh, and they’re very cleverly called Indian giant squirrels or Malabar giant squirrels
That’s a very… round head. Have you tested his thyroid function?
No we haven’t even decided if we are gonna adopt him. He currently lives at the vet’s office. Is that something a rural vet can do easily?
Yup. It’s a very simple blood test. If they do any in-house blood panels, they probably have something to check the T4. If not, it can be sent out.
Any time you see a randombred kitten with very short legs (If Joel had stayed with the same proportions as when he was 5 weeks old we’d have tested him. I half wonder if his thyroid was having to play catch-up from him being so very premature) and a round head, it’s a good idea to check for congenital hypothyroidism just to rule it out as a cause.
Good news/bad news - If it is hypothyroidism, it’s very simple to treat but if treatment is started in kittenhood they will go on to develop more normal proportions.
Huge fan of Jonathan’s little aside here he’s like hey, just making sure you know I don’t hate all women, just these three specifically. Because he’s a feminist
ALT
